Quiet thoughts – Silent tears

guest post from Carer Watch member , Pat Onions

The NHS 24 duty Doctor has just left and David is now asleep. Only 4 hours ago I was trying to give him some relief  from the cramps. They are all over his body, making him scream and bang his head with pain. Begging me to make it go away or end it forever. The lovely Doctor gives him a pethadine injection to add to his daily morphine patches.

Pain, like babies being born, comes at night. For us, like so many, the Doctors know their way to our back door.

 Now I sit quietly and cry while reality kicks in once again.

If, as a registered blind person, I am deemed fit for work…who looks after David? He is my eyes and I am his full time, unpaid, carer. His War Pension takes him over the threshold, only just, and we would have to pay huge amounts for care. Then of course they do not provide night care. My DLA helps to pay towards the exorbitant profits the gas company makes.

We try to live as independently as our disabilities allow but this threat hanging over me is making me ill too.

The promise of a ‘ Quality of life and independence’ will have the completely opposite effect.



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